There’s something about the vast, open ocean that makes you introspective. It might be the miles of endless blue or the rhythmic hum of the ship cutting through the waves. This time, as I cruised along Africa’s stunning coastline, my thoughts veered toward independence, companionship, and the joys—and challenges—of being fiercely single.

During this voyage, I met two women who changed my perspective in ways I didn’t expect. Both were in their seventies, widows navigating life after their husbands’ passing, and though our paths were different, our conversations revealed surprising parallels in our journeys.

The Solo Traveler’s Journey

Since my divorce years ago, I’ve embraced solo travel as an empowering way to explore the world. There’s a certain liberation in booking a ticket on a whim or lingering longer in a place because it speaks to your soul. I’ve always reveled in the independence this lifestyle affords, but meeting these two ladies challenged me to reflect on how much I’ve taken my own company for granted.

These women, despite their courage in facing loss, shared how loneliness often loomed larger than they anticipated. Their struggles to rebuild lives independently were poignant reminders that the transition to self-reliance isn’t always easy—especially when you’ve been part of a pair for decades.

Struggles with Loneliness: A Shared Challenge

Loneliness doesn’t discriminate; it can touch anyone, no matter how vibrant or accomplished. For these women, losing their husbands was more than losing a partner—it was losing the rhythm of a shared life.

One of them, Margaret, shared how hard it was to adjust to making decisions on her own. “Even small things,” she said, “like choosing where to dine or what movie to watch, felt overwhelming.” She’d spent so much of her life consulting her husband on everything, and now every choice seemed to magnify his absence.

The other, Clara, echoed a similar sentiment but admitted she resisted opening up to new people. “I know I’m lonely,” she confessed, “but I’m not ready for change. I don’t want to let anyone replace him.” Her words struck me—here was someone aware of her pain but unsure how to move beyond it.

Why We “Singles” Need to Lean on Each Other

The beauty of crossing paths with Margaret and Clara was the bond we formed as “singles” on this cruise. We traded stories over coffee, shared laughter at onboard shows, and spent long afternoons watching the sun set over the African coast.

For me, these moments underscored the importance of community. Whether you’re navigating singlehood by choice, circumstance, or a mix of both, connecting with others who understand your journey can be profoundly comforting. Our companionship during this trip didn’t erase their loneliness, but it made the burden a little lighter, even if only for a while.

Taking Independence for Granted: My Wake-Up Call

I’ll admit, I’ve taken my independence for granted. Traveling solo has become second nature to me, and I often forget how daunting it can feel to others. Margaret and Clara reminded me of the courage it takes to step into independence later in life.

I’ve spent years cultivating the ability to enjoy my own company, but these women revealed that this is a skill—not an innate trait. It’s something you develop through practice, patience, and often, necessity. They showed me that what I take for granted might be someone else’s hardest battle.

The Lessons We Can All Take Home

This trip wasn’t just about seeing new places; it was about gaining new perspectives. Here are a few takeaways I hope resonate with others:

• Don’t Take Your Partner for Granted: If you have a companion, cherish them. Relationships are a privilege, not a given. Appreciate the little moments—they’re the ones you’ll miss the most.
• Embrace Change: Life is unpredictable, but resisting change only prolongs your pain. Open yourself to new experiences, even if they feel scary. Growth often comes from discomfort.
• Be Open to Love: Age is just a number, and love doesn’t have an expiration date. Whether it’s romantic, platonic, or self-love, nurturing connections can bring unexpected joy.

Active Aging Is About Choice

At its heart, active aging is about choosing how you live, not just how long you live. It’s about staying curious, engaged, and open to life’s possibilities. Whether you’re single, widowed, or part of a couple, independence and connection don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

As I disembark this cruise, I carry with me the stories of two remarkable women who reminded me to value my independence while staying open to companionship. If you’re navigating singlehood—whether newly or long-term—know that you’re not alone. Embrace the adventure, lean into your resilience, and don’t shy away from what life has to offer.